you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
