the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
