Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
