i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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