So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
