kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
