I wish I could teleport
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
