being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
