How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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