it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
