Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
The Olympian is in my bed
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
