She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
