Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
