My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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