i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
