dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
