You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
