I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
