It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
we should paint friendship bongs
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