All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
