i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
