i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
