I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
where does the pee come out of this thing
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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