Can i not drive my cunt home
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
