Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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