one two three fourrrrnication!
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
