TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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