Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I will be naked everywhere
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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