Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
