I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I am one with the molecules
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
