Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Pooping to opera.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
