Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
