Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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