If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
