She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
