So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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