That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
