i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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