I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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