Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You are a genius and a whore.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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