I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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