More tranny stories later!
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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