Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
But we have bathrooms and they dont
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
