I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
