My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
