just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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