This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
