I love black thongs
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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