Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
