u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
