It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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