I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
