Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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